Tag: happiness

Couple Prayer

Couple Prayer

by Andrea ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

The Proclamation states that prayer is one of the principles that “successful marriages” are built upon.[i] When couples pray together, they create a unique relationship between them and God. In the June 2006 Ensign, Elder Bednar illustrates a principle that a marital relationship with Christ at the apex of a triangle and the husband and wife at the other corners builds greater love and happiness as husband and wives move closer to Christ.[ii] The same concept is true if we instead place our Father in Heaven at the apex. As couples pray together, they grow closer to one another as they move closer to God through prayer.

I asked my daughter, who is married, what she thought was one of the greatest benefits of couple prayer. She mentioned the very triangle cited above. When she and her husband pray together, she feels closer to him and to the Lord.

In addition, there is evidence which supports the notion that couples who pray for one another see their marriages as sacred.[iii] “[Viewing] the relationship in this way can be a protective factor, buffering the marriage against certain challenges (such as infidelity) that can diminish or destroy a marriage.”[iv] This is significant when we think about the challenges that many marriages face today. It’s estimated that 55% of marriages which end in divorce, do so because of infidelity.[v] Among Latter-day Saint marriages, the statistic is only slightly lower at 48%. [vi]

Elder Dallin H. Oaks[vii] teaches why prayer can serve as protective factor. He counsels:

If you are already descending into the low state of marriage-in-name-only, please join hands, kneel together, and prayerfully plead for help and the healing power of the Atonement. Your humble and united pleadings will bring you closer to the Lord and to each other and will help you in the hard climb back to marital harmony.

More notably, past and present church prophets and apostles have admonished couples to pray together for a variety of reasons:

President Spencer W. Kimball talked about several principles, including couple prayer, which bring happiness. He said, “Happiness is at its pinnacle when husbands and wives … love the Lord more than their own lives.” [viii]

President Russell M. Nelson taught, “Good communication is also enhanced by prayer. To pray with specific mention of a spouse’s good deed (or need) nurtures a marriage.”[ix]

Another prophet, President Gordon B. Hinckley said, “I know of no single practice that will have a more salutary effect upon your lives than the practice of kneeling together as you begin and close each day. Somehow the little storms that seem to afflict every marriage are dissipated when, kneeling before the Lord, you thank him for one another, in the presence of one another, and then together invoke his blessings upon your lives, your home, your loved ones, and your dreams.”[x]

Finally, Ecclesiastes 4:12 states, “A threefold cord is not quickly broken.” The verses previous to this one says, “Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow” (vs. 9-10). What better way is there than to lift one another up through prayer?

We walk hand in hand with God through the perils of life when we place him at the center of our marriages. When one spouse stumbles, the other is there, but so is our Father in Heaven. His added strength to our marriages will bring us more happiness, better communication, and greater protection as we strive for greater satisfaction and success.

[i] The Family: A Proclamation to the World. (1995, November). Retrieved May 25, 2019, from https://www.lds.org/study/ensign/1995/11/the-family-a-proclamation-to-the-world?lang=eng

[ii] https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/2006/06/marriage-is-essential-to-his-eternal-plan?lang=eng

[iii] Lambert, N. M. (2016). Sanctification and Cooperation: How Prayer Helps Strengthen Relationships in Good Times and Heal Relationships in Bad Times. In Successful Marriages and Families: Proclamation Principles and Research Perspectives (pp. 196-200). Provo, UT: Brigham Young University.

[iv] Ibid.

[v] Hawkins, A. J., & Fackrell, T. A. (2016). Should I Keep Trying to Work It Out: Sacred and Secular Perspectives on the Crossroads of Divorce. In Successful Marriages and Families: Proclamation Principles and Research Perspectives (pp. 79-87). Provo, UT: Brigham Young University.

[vi] http://www.ldsliving.com/The-LDS-Divorce-Experience/s/82123

[vii] Oaks, D. H. (2007, May). Divorce. Ensign,37, 36-38. In Lambert, pg. 197.

[viii] https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/manual/building-an-eternal-marriage-teacher-manual/spirituality-in-marriage?lang=eng

[ix] Nelson, R. S. (2006, May). Nurturing marriage. Ensign, 36, 36-38. In Lambert, pg. 198.

[x] https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/1971/06/except-the-lord-build-the-house?lang=eng

Covenant Obligations and Happiness in Marriage

Covenant Obligations and Happiness in Marriage

by Andrea ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

This semester, I’m studying the family and how, “The Family: A Proclamation to the World,” supports the idea of stable, loving, and eternal marriages and families. The textbook which accompanies this class promotes the principles outlined in the Proclamation and teaches us how to implement them into our marriages and families.

This week in our readings, I came across a statement that I felt compelled to write about:

The Family: A Proclamation to the World” declares that “marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God”, (¶ 1). and that “husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other” (¶ 6). Furthermore, it emphasizes that “marriage . . . is essential to His eternal plan” (¶ 7). These statements make clear that marriage is a purposeful, divinely created relationship, not merely a social custom, and that couples have God-given covenant obligations to one another.[i]

Some of those obligations or covenants are outlined in the Proclamation as principles to live by: “faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities.”[ii] Also included among them is complete fidelity in marriage. When families practice these principles, they are ensured the possibility of greater happiness. President Spencer W. Kimball explains that happiness “comes from within” and is “earned.” [iii] Therefore, it is safe to say that happiness in family life is earned by living the principles taught in the Proclamation.

As you read the principles outline above, think about how they pertain to your marriage and family. Ask yourself questions such as, “How are we showing our faith in God?” “Do we pray together morning and at night?” “In our prayers, are we thanking God for one another?” “Do I forgive my husband/wife?” “Do I recognize my faults and ask for forgiveness?” As you take time to contemplate how these principles might apply to your relationships, you will see how living them more fully will bring you greater happiness.

I know that living each of these principles is a covenant obligation that we have with God and with our spouse and children. I promise that when you incorporate them into your marriage, you will be more fulfilled and happier.

[i] Hawkins, Alan J., et al. Successful Marriages and Families: Proclamation Principles and Research Perspectives. Brigham Young University, 2016.

[ii] The Family: A Proclamation to the World. (1995, November). Retrieved May 18, 2019, from https://www.lds.org/study/ensign/1995/11/the-family-a-proclamation-to-the-world?lang=eng

[iii] Kimball, S. W. (2002, October). Gospel Classics: Oneness in Marriage. Retrieved May 18, 2019, from https://www.lds.org/study/ensign/2002/10/oneness-in-marriage?lang=eng