“Tranquility to the soul” (Holland). That’s what forgiveness and reconciliation brings according to Elder Jeffrey R. Holland in a recent General Conference address. In the scriptures, Paul talks of the “peace of God, which passeth all understanding” (Philippians 4:7). This feeling, similar to “tranquility of the soul,” is something that comes through being able to forgive others and reconcile our hearts with them.

Why is forgiveness necessary? Foremost, it is a commandment: “I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men” (D&C 64:10). The promise we receive in return for forgiving others, is that we will be forgiven of our sins. We should think hard on that thought. When we withhold our forgiveness, because it is a choice to forgive or not, then the Lord will withhold His forgiveness to us.

Secondly, forgiveness heals our hearts. Think about the feelings that precede forgiveness: resentment, bitterness, hate, envy, blame, justification, etc. These feelings are toxic to our souls. In an April 2007 General Conference address, Elder James E. Faust mentioned a few benefits of forgiveness in his address which were mentioned in scientific studies. Those benefits include, “a higher level of self-esteem and well-being” (Faust). Meaning that people become, “less angry, more hopeful, less depressed, less anxious and less stressed” when they learn to forgive (Faust). When we forgive others, our souls are rid of those toxic feelings. Through the healing power of the atonement, we are filled with peace, love, kindness, and empathy.

Third, forgiveness can bring reconciliation. It was possible for my marriage to heal—even after all that had been done to nearly destroy it. Forgiveness may not heal all relationships, but it’s possible to reconcile completely even when there have been long-standing disagreements or extreme hurt.

I wrote about my failed marriage in my last blog post. Over the course of my marriage, I had to the learn the lesson on forgiveness over and over again as infidelities and addictions came to light several times. It wasn’t always easy, and at one point, the pain, suffering, and resentment built up to unmanageable levels. It was at this time of harboring long-held resentment towards my husband, that I remember the intense feeling of it being washed away as I gained the capacity to forgive my ex. Through the healing power of the atonement of Jesus Christ, an overpowering sense of peace came over me. A miracle had taken place in my life. Not only did I feel the tranquility that Elder Holland speaks of, but I knew my sins had been forgiven too. My whole soul was cleansed and sanctified.

Today, I know that I can turn to God as soon as ill feelings towards another comes into my mind and heart. I know that He will hear my plea for help and that the atonement will bring peace again when I repent of those feelings. I know that forgiveness is a powerful tool that we can wield with the help of God. I am so grateful for this gift and for the abundant blessings that I have received in my life because I have been willing to forgive.

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Works Cited

Faust, James E. “The Healing Power Of Forgiveness”. Lds.Org, 2007, https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2007/04/the-healing-power-of-forgiveness?lang=eng. Accessed 6 Mar 2019.

Holland, Jeffrey R. “The Ministry Of Reconciliation”. Lds.Org, 2018, https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2018/10/the-ministry-of-reconciliation?lang=eng. Accessed 6 Mar 2019.