Savior – Forever And A Day

As individuals and families in a fallen world, we will have many crises that we will need to overcome in order to qualify for eternal life with our Father in Heaven. Having an understanding that our trials are for our good and that they will give us the experience we need, is a perspective that we must all develop. [ii]

What exactly is a crucible? “A crucible is a furnace-like vessel that endures intense heat that refines and transfigures raw materials into a new stronger substance.” [iii] Therefore, having a crucible perspective means that we see our trials as an opportunity for us to become stronger as an individual and as a family. This crisis to crucible outlook will give us strength as we look to our Savior’s example and turn to our Father in Heaven for help.

While in the Garden of Gethsemane, the Savior took upon Himself the sins of the world. The pain of our sins caused Him to suffer so tremendously, that He bled from every pore. He was in so much agony that He cried out to our Father in Heaven for help. He wanted this mental, spiritual, and physical anguish to be removed, yet He submitted His will to the Father because He understood the blessings that would result. If you recall, an angel visited Him after His prayer to strengthen Him. [iv]

What can we learn from His experience? First, He cried to His Father. Our thoughts should turn to God when we are suffering through trials. The Savior’s experience shows us that God will answer our prayers and strengthen us. Notice, God did not take away the Savior’s experience of atoning for our sins. Rather, He answered His prayer by strengthening and comforting Him through the presence of an angel. Although our strength and comfort may come in different ways, our Father will not abandon us in our hour of need.

Second, He submitted His will to the Father. God knows what is best for us and what will help us return to Him. We all have weaknesses that we must overcome. We all need to learn valuable lessons in order to become like Him. When we submit our will to God, we are telling Him that we trust Him. We can trust that His paths [v] and His ways [vi] are better than our own.

Third, the Savior understood how important His atonement was. He promised us all before we came to earth that He would atone for our sins. He also knew that through His atonement, He would have the power to redeem us. He was willing to suffer so that we might live and return to God. We too can have an understanding that our suffering will make us stronger and will lead us closer to returning to our Father. Through our prayers and our willingness to follow God’s plan for us, He enlightens us. This doesn’t mean we will understand all of the reasons why we have trials, but He won’t leave us without some kind of insight into our hardships.

Like all of our Father’s children, I have suffered trials and hardships throughout my life. I am grateful for a loving Father who has not left me stranded and alone, but has been with me when I have needed His help. My trials have changed me. Through the crucible experiences that I’ve had, I am stronger, more refined, and more like our Father and our Redeemer.

[i] Hawkins, Alan J., et al. Successful Marriages and Families: Proclamation Principles and Research Perspectives. Brigham Young University, 2016.

[ii] Doctrine and Covenants 122:7

[iii] Robinson, W. David, et al. “Crucibles and Healing: Illness, Death, Loss, and Bereavement.” Successful Marriages and Families: Proclamation Principles and Research Perspectives, Brigham Young University, 2016, pp. 237–248.

[iv] Luke 22:42-44

[v] Proverbs 3:5-6

[vi] Isaiah 55:8

I have spoken and written a lot about forgiveness. I was married for close to 30 years to a man who is a pornography and sex addict. Over the course of our marriage he acted out numerous times, which resulted in a lot of emotional, physical, and spiritual suffering. Nevertheless, the resentment, bitterness, anger, etc., that I felt off and on during those years was a choice that I made. Both of us used our agency poorly.

Having an unforgiving heart weighs us down with burden—even when we have been the victim of another’s choices. In the opening remarks of his talk, “To Be Free of Heavy Burdens,” Elder Richard G. Scott says, “Many of you suffer needlessly from carrying heavy burdens because you do not open your hearts to the healing power of the Lord.” [i] He then reminds us of this promise from the Lord:

“I will … ease the burdens which are put upon your shoulders, that … you cannot feel them …; and this will I do … that ye may know of a surety that I, the Lord God, do visit my people in their afflictions” (Mosiah 24:14). [ii]

Sometimes, we have unforgiving hearts because we want the other person to suffer as we have. The irony of this type of unforgiveness is that we cannot be healed from the pain that has been afflicted upon us if we don’t forgive. The Lords tell us:

“Wherefore, I say unto you, that ye ought to forgive one another; for he that forgiveth not his brother his trespasses standeth condemned before the Lord; for there remaineth in him the greater sin.

“I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men.” [iii]

The Savior’s healing power is greater than our afflictions. When we trust in Him, and ask for His help to forgive, He will grant us that ability.

I have often heard people say that they can’t forgive. They don’t know how, or they’ve tried and it doesn’t work. Forgiveness is often a process, but it is also a gift. “Seek ye earnestly the best gifts.” [iv] The gift of forgiveness is something that I have experience with, but it wasn’t randomly given to me. I made a conscious choice to be obedient to the commandments and to make changes in my life which would bring me greater happiness. Because of those choices, my heart was softened, and I was granted the ability to freely forgive. Now I find it much easier to forgive than I have in the past. I don’t hold on to resentment or bitterness.

Let’s not forget the greatest blessings that comes from forgiving others—the remittance of our sins. “For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.” [v] I remember distinctly how I felt after I had forgiven someone else. An overwhelming sense of peace came over me. In that moment, I was not only free from the burdens of someone else’s choices, but my own sins had been forgiven. I was free from all burden. It was a beautiful moment in my life that I’ll never forget.

I am eternally grateful for the Savior. He made all things possible through His atonement. He has the power to help us forgive. It’s my sincere prayer that you’ll free yourself from your burdens and seek His help.

[i] https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2002/10/to-be-free-of-heavy-burdens?lang=eng

[ii] As cited in “To Be Free of Heavy Burdens.”

[iii] Doctrine & Covenants 64:9-10

[iv] Doctrine & Covenants 46:8

[v] Matthew 6:14

Forever And A Day

A perspective on marriage and family

Tag: Savior

“From Crisis to Crucible”

The Gift of Forgiveness