Not every marriage or relationship is fixable. My own can attest to that. But the principles that lead men to salvation and which keep individuals happy, are true for everyone. As my marriage started to crumble, I looked to God for help. I knew that I would find strength through the atonement of Jesus Christ, and I knew that I could change and “[put] off the natural man” as King Benjamin describes in the book of Mosiah (3:19).

King Benjamin teaches that we must be humble and become as children to receive grace through the atonement. One day, as I was staggering under the weight of resentment that I felt towards a man who refused to keep his covenants and stay true to his marital vows, I felt a strong desire to be more obedient. As I pursued this attribute, the Lord worked on my heart. He slowly chipped away at those negative feelings and filled me up with hope and peace.

Forgiveness came too. It’s harder to explain how this happened, because it came to me in an instant as a spiritual gift from God. I did nothing to earn it. Sure, I was striving for obedience and staying true to my covenants, but it was a miracle that came at one of the worst moments in my life. Forgiveness fills our whole souls with love and light because it is made possible through the atonement. As we struggle in marriages or other relationships, we must find a place for forgiveness in our hearts. It’s the only way we will be truly happy.

Being submissive is something we must do to receive the benefits of the atonement, but it too is a gift endowed through the grace of God. As Elder Neil A. Maxwell explains, “Spiritual submissiveness is so much more than bended knee or bowed head” (Maxwell). Although beginning with “bended knee” is necessary, as we attune ourselves to the Spirit and follow His promptings, we begin a journey of being and becoming more submissive to God’s will.

Another point Elder Maxwell makes is that, “The submissive soul will be led aright, enduring some things well while being anxiously engaged in setting other things right—all the time discerning the difference” (Maxwell). As we exercise this attribute in our relationships, it will strengthen them. Whether it’s apologizing or forgiving, our hearts are in tune with God and we do what it takes to make amends.

Near the end of my marriage, I felt the Lord needed me to do my very best. So, I did. Although I ended up divorced, I still learned the value of turning myself over to God and allowing the power of atonement to change my heart. I came out strengthened, renewed, and full of hope.

As we apply these principles, we will strengthen our relationships because each time we “[put] off the natural man,” we become more like the Savior. As our hearts change, we become more humble and see our faults; we seek for and demonstrate forgiveness towards our loved ones; and we follow the promptings of the Holy Ghost and do God’s will.

Regardless of our relationship status, eternal principles apply to us individually. Can you imagine the power in a relationship if both spouses turn their hearts over to God and seek to follow His will by “[putting] off the natural man?” I know that as we “yield to the enticings of the Holy Spirit,” and “become a saint… as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things,” the promise of salvation is ours. The Lord will save us, help save our marriages, and save our families.

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Works Cited

Maxwell, Neil A. “”Willing To Submit””. Lds.Org, 1985, https://www.lds.org/study/general-conference/1985/04/willing-to-submit?lang=eng. Accessed 6 Feb 2019.